a thousand deaths (all our broken hearts)
by MedusaOfTheSpecies
Summary: Post-War: Ginny crumbles at the seams, Luna clings to the threads of hope, and the world keeps spinning regardless. :: Luna & Ginny, an uphill climb towards happiness.


**a thousand deaths (all our broken hearts)**

Ginny's not surprised when Luna's the one who finds her, sitting beside an apple tree in the meadow of the Burrow's backyard. Anyone else would be, but countless years of having Luna's by her side has been a never-ending reminder of the intelligence the other girl possesses and the way she can predict Ginny's own moves in an almost disarming way.

"Hi, Ginny." Luna cocks her head to the side, furrowing her eyebrows. "You know, you're infested with Nargles," Luna says pityingly and Ginny wants to scream. Well, just fucking great, even the Nargles won't leave her alone. Just bloody fucking fantastic, the way her last year has been going.

Ginny scowls at her best friend, pulling her legs up so she can rest her head on her knees and try not to cry. "I'm not surprised… after the war, I'd be a perfect host for them."

"Why?" Luna frowns, her already owl-like eyes widening in confusion. "Why now, Ginny? Why after everything we went through?"

Ginny stares at her blankly for a second before answering. Luna's odd way of looking at the world usually makes her smile, the way it has for her entire life — despite a war, despite the struggles of girlhood, despite Tom — but today it makes her feel more alone than ever. "Because people fucking died, Luna. That's why. Because we lost Lav and George and Remus and Tonks and Colin, and because Harry can't even come out of his room and I'm drowning in silence."

Luna seems to break at that, finally plopping down beside Ginny and wrapping Ginny in her arms. Ginny rests her head against her best friends shoulder, and just for a second, everything seems okay until the smell of something flowery drifts through and Ginny crinkles her nose in disgust. The weather shouldn't be warm and sunny today, nothing should be blooming. It should be cold and dreary like the rest of them, still mourning for their dead and fallen soldiers.

"They wouldn't want that," Luna says and Ginny jumps before realizing that she had voiced the last part out loud. It happens more often than not around Luna. Around Luna, the truth isn't heartbreaking in the same way, but just a simple reality. It's both a relief and a nightmare at once, but Luna has never promised her serenity and Ginny is thankful for that.

"That's the problem with mourning," Ginny says darkly, shivering as Luna runs a soft hand through her hair. "It's not about the dead. It's selfish. I miss them all."

"I do too," Luna says simply, grabbing Ginny's hand. Ginny lets her best friend hold it tight and watches the way the sun's rays reflect against the earth, all-consuming. "I miss my friends, but I know they died for something they believed him, and I know I will see them again. The people we love always stay with us, Ginny."

"Easy for you to say, Luna. You've always been too kind." Ginny digs the hand Luna isn't holding into the ground, feeling the grass and dirt around her. It's easier to talk freely like this, unable to see the pity in Luna's eyes.

"Ginny, look at me." Luna's voice is soft, melodic almost, as she gently tilts Ginny's face up to meet her own. "You're crying… I don't think I've ever seen you cry before. But it's good you're crying. You're feeding the blibbering grackles, they like tears."

Letting out a choked sob, Ginny wipes her face angrily, but it does nothing to prevent the steady stream of salty tears coating her cheeks. She's not crying to help Luna's creature. She's crying because it feels like she's still eleven, barely alive on the chamber floor.

"I can't do this anymore, Luna. I am hormonal, I am terrified, and I am falling apart — "

"Do you know what my first impression of you was?" Luna interrupts, wrapping her warm body against Ginny's own in a hug. "We were friends when we were small, yes, but the first time I truly saw you was in the second year, after Tom. It was a sight — Ginny Weasley, in the greenhouse with a broomstick. All my life I've dreamed of meeting someone like you, my own best friend, and then you re-appeared, bold and brave Ginny. So believe me when I say, yes, the past can hurt but, the way I see it you can either run from it, or learn from it."

Ginny frowns, shoving a piece of her hair back behind her ears. The tears keep falling, but the words keep coming against her will. "I was trying to sneak out and fly when you found me in the greenhouse. I was terrible still at it, back then, but I was stubborn and I wanted to outfly my brothers. Then, when you appeared, I thought you'd turn me in, but you just made me a flower crown. I thought you were a little Loony, honestly, but mostly I was just scared."

"Loony Luna," Luna sing-songs, her voice like bells chiming. Ginny flinches at the words — years of punching anyone who insulted Luna have made her hatred of that phrase a habit. Luna deserves better, always has — if there is anyone whose existence is an experiment, it is Luna. Luna, who always watches and waits and who talks to stars and mirrors the angels.

"Luna, do you think the dead forgive us?" Ginny asks, voice pleading. She's always been too proud to beg, but now there's desperation in her heart. The weight of the world feels like it's been placed on her shoulders and she can no longer juggle her responsibilities without them consuming her like a void. "Do you think this nightmare will end?"

Luna doesn't lie to her — never has, never will. "Perhaps that doesn't matter," Luna says thoughtfully. "As long as we forgive ourselves."

Like usual, Ginny believes her. Maybe it's enough, perhaps not, but it's a step towards something and Ginny, she needs it. She needs her best friend and hope, and perhaps with those two things, she has a chance towards a future happier than her past.

 **...**

 **WC:** 1042 Words

 **Written for:**

Women's History: Task: Write about someone unexpected having a great influence

Cocktails: **Onion,** Action: Crying, Genre: Angst

National Photography Month: 15: Visual Anthropology - Write about friends socializing.

Scavenger Hunt: Write a fic that is incredibly angsty

Film Festival: 36. Dialogue: "I am hormonal, I am terrified, and I am falling apart."

Character Appreciation: 22. (genre) friendship

Disney Challenge: Rafiki - Use the dialogue - "Yes, the past can hurt but, the way I see it you can either run from it, or learn from it."

Shannon's Showcase: **4\. Ukraine:**

Word: Fear

Lyric: "Nothing but your will sets you on fire. Fire lasts forever."

Theme: Failure leading to success

Book Club: **Eddie:** (action) juggling, (word) nightmare, (word) forgiveness

Showtime: The Death of Gavroche - (emotion) Fear

Count Your Buttons: (word) Chime

Lyric Alley: And although I was burning, you're the only light

Ami's Audio Admirations: 2. Limetown - (word) Experiment

Sophie's Shelf: 13. Dr. Georgina Orwell: Write about someone hypnotizing (figuratively or literally) another person. Alternatively, write about someone who is 'always watching'.

Emy's Emporium: **Mongke Khan** \- write about someone who is honourable

Pokemon: A Thousand Deaths (A Broken Heart)

Geek Pride: Shadowhunters: (dialogue) "All my life I've dreamed of meeting someone like you.", Scarf: (word set) wrap, long, warm


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